Skip to content

Film

“Nice penis”

Some of the best pillow talk I’ve seen in a film came in Bunny & The Bull. The title of this blog post, being the best example. It also helps me realize a new theory on film. If you see a penis, it’s a comedy; if you see a vagina, it’s a drama. It explains why women laugh when I remove my pants. I was inspired to watch this based on Julian Barratt’s scene which has made it, rightfully so, onto the Youtube. It’s quite a funny movie, but also, it’s exceptionally sweet. The heartbroken Stephen is convinced to pick up and leave England with his friend Bunny. The two go… Read More »“Nice penis”

Blindness

As a fan of Canadian cinema, I’m by default a fan of Don McKellar’s work. Aren’t we all, after all? McKellar wrote Blindness, a film which I really knew nothing about it before I watched it, other than the author’s previous work. In the film, a Japanese man (Yûsuke Iseya) living in an unknown city finds himself in suddenly blind while sitting in traffic. A man (McKellar) offers to drive him home, after getting him to his destination, he steals the car. Blindness, while usually described as darkness is instead described as brightness. It slowly spreads from Iseya’s character to the Doctor to McKellar’s character to a prostitute who was… Read More »Blindness

Streamers

Robert Altman’s film Streamers is one of the least Robert Altmanesque Robert Altman films I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen a lot of Robert Altman films. Streamers is set in the barracks of a handful of Airborne Army officers waiting until they (like the rest of their mates) are sent off to Vietnam. What makes this film so unlike most of Altman’s features is that it’s cast can be counted on one hand, and the film never leaves their barracks. To put it simply, this film is based on a play, and it’s damn obvious. Altman shot this like a play, and as such it’s missing much of his trademark… Read More »Streamers

Splice

So, we have Sarah Polley, David Hewlett, and directed by Vincenzo Natali. Hells yeah I’m going to see it. For the unfamiliar, Sarah Polley is the actress who’s been in everything from The Adventures of Baron Munchausen to Exotica to The Sweet Hereafter to Last Night to eXistenZ to Dawn of the Dead to directing the incredible Away From Her. This woman fills me up with such patriotic joy that I think Chompy McBeaverton is about to cry.    David Hewlett is best known for his role as Rodney McKay on Stargate Atlantis (and SG-1). Vincenzo Natali is best known for the incredible horror thriller Cube. All of those were… Read More »Splice

Chloe

Chloe, the latest film by one of Canada’s greatest film makers, Atom Egoyan, is much like many of his other films, spectacular. Julianne Moore plays Catherine Stewart, who’s suspects her husband David (Liam Neeson) of cheating. Catherine hires an escort to seduce her husband, and report on his behaviour. The plot summary of this film doesn’t need any more than that. Egoyan’s tale is a thriller about desire and human nature. Julianne Moore’s and Amanda Seyfried’s performances are spectacular. The two actors are able to create an emotional connection for the audience to understand before the characters themselves understand it. Neeson, however seems more of a supporting character, but that’s… Read More »Chloe

Iron Man

A few months ago, a film came out called Iron Man 2. I was very perplexed. Iron Man was such an incredible film. This heart-wrenching story about a boy and his friendly metallic robot friend. I absolutely loved it, but when I thought of what Brad Bird film would make a good sequel, Iron Man was nowhere in my list. The first and obvious choice would be The Incredibles. Wait, what? Oh, I’m getting word that the film I’m thinking of is Iron Giant. Iron Giant. I’m sorry for the confusion ladies and gentlemen. So what’s Iron Man? Superhero film? Marvel Comics? Stan Lee? Starring Robert Downey Jr.? Oh. So,… Read More »Iron Man

Zardoz: The Musical

I don’t know why @Stagehandmusic suddenly sent me a message, but how could I not answer this?

Hot Tub Time Machine

I went into this film with some high expectations, but was still skeptical enough to not see it during its initial theatrical run, and instead saw it at Toronto’s Bloor Cinema. What I didn’t expect was to see such perfection. I haven’t laughed so hard at a film in a long time, especially not in a theatre. One joke that literally had me in stitches was such an obvious joke and was even in the trailer, “What colour is Michael Jackson?” but the execution was done so perfectly that it led to such hilarity. For those who don’t remember, the 1980s was the worst decade in all human history. One… Read More »Hot Tub Time Machine

Under more stars than there are prostitutes in Thailand…

On Friday night, I went to my first ever Hot Docs screening. Yes, I had never before been to Hot Docs after living in Toronto(ish) for 28 years. How long? 28 years.1 I lost my Hot Docs virginity to Strange Powers, a film about Stephin Merritt and The Magnetic Fields. For those who don’t know who Stephin Merritt is, or who the Magnetic Fields are, you’re obviously new to my blog, and my life.2 The Magnetic Fields are one of the most ambitious pop artists who are best known for their monumentous3 triple album project 69 Love Songs. Stephin Merritt is the band’s songwriter, leader, visionary, and in all honesty,… Read More »Under more stars than there are prostitutes in Thailand…

April 2010, in review

In December, I set goals for myself, how many films to see this year, how many shows to attend, how many records to purchase, and how many books to read. This is the standings, as of the end of February… Books I read (6/10) – 60%: Nothing this month. Films I saw (32/52) – 61%: The Sweet Hereafter | Originally released 1997    Nine | Originally released 2009 The Runaways Sleeper | Originally released 1973 Albums I bought (24/52) – 46%: “My Father’s House” b/w “The Digger” (Regional 7″ Volume 2) by $100    What The Boat Gave The River by Mark Berube & The Patriotic Few    new EP by… Read More »April 2010, in review