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Doctor Who Story 254 – The Magician’s Apprentice/The Witch’s Familiar

Prologue More talk about death, blah blah blah blah blah. No one’s going to die. I wish they’d kill Clara, but they won’t. The Magician’s Apprentice That’s very low tech… with lasers. They keep saying “hand mine” like it’s a thing. I remember being intrigued that it’s Davros. And once again, news reports. These people are so excited to assume it’s hostile. We’re into the electric guitar phase… why. And sunglasses. Missy being offended that Davros is the Doctor’s arch enemy is fantastic. The Witch’s Familiar Missy is great. I like the different Dalek models. Missy is great. She really is the best part of Capaldi’s time. Missy is great!… Read More »Doctor Who Story 254 – The Magician’s Apprentice/The Witch’s Familiar

Doctor Who Story 253 – Last Christmas

Yay, more Christmas. Why is there never a Chanukah episode? Or a Pesach episode? Basically what I’m saying is not everyone is Christian. Are they not going to discuss Danny Pink and the Doctor thinking he’s back alive and in a relationship with Clara? Why am I watching a woman dance to Christmas carols? At least they brought Danny Pink back up, and the Doctor knows that he’s dead. Oh god, they’re doing that Christopher Nolan movie. Wow that old lady makeup is terrible. Oh that was stupid. If the Doctor can’t see age, it would have been nice to do this story with an old companion.

Doctor Who Story 252 – Dark Water/Death in Heaven

Dark Water Looks like they finally killed someone off… too bad it’s not going to last. Though Danny is the only one who isn’t terrible. Clara don’t be a shit and save your boyfriend’s life. Wow, Clara is an asshole. The fact that the Doctor continues travelling with Clara is ridiculous. He kicked out Sarah Jane for nothing, but now he lets Clara get away with this bullshit. Oh fuck you, Doctor. That squishing sound when she puts her fingers into the TARDIS controls. Hey, it’s him! I wish this was nearly as funny as Thick of It. That R roll is very Sylvester McCoy. Danny Pink, don’t be sad.… Read More »Doctor Who Story 252 – Dark Water/Death in Heaven

Doctor Who Story 251 – In the Forest of the Night

Is this the episode where Clara takes the kids on a trip in the TARDIS? If so, that’s horrible. Close the TARDIS door, Doctor! “Every communication channel on the TARDIS is open, yet nothing,” but we saw a news report. How are the traffic lights receiving power. The forest is mankind’s nightmare. The Doctor to Clara No, that’s alligators. Really? Trying to start a forest fire in the middle of a city with millions of people? Are they that stupid? How is this forest so dense without population, they’re in the core of London. They shouldn’t be able to go more than a few metres without hitting a building. Are… Read More »Doctor Who Story 251 – In the Forest of the Night

Doctor Who Story 250 – Flatline

I don’t remember anything about this episode. Don’t trust the Doctor to be able to get you back to where you want to go! “This isn’t Croydon.” Doctor, open the other half of the door. Why is Missy using an iPad?

Doctor Who Story 249 – Mummy on the Orient Express

Taskmaster star Frank Skinner!!!! Flapper outfits suck They’re like paper bags. This is a fun episode. The jelly babies in the cigarette case are classic. I like Frank Skinner telling off the Doctor with sarcasm. Stop teasing me Clara and making me think that you’re leaving the show. Just go, we don’t want you.

Doctor Who Story 246 – Time Heist

Let her have a date. I love a good heist film. This isn’t a good heist film. Poor Capaldi, lifetime Doctor Who fan, finally gets to be the Doctor, and his episodes are terrible. At least he’s great.

Doctor Who Story 245 – Listen

The Doctor’s been traveling alone for way too long. I really don’t get this Clara/late-Amy trend of the Doctor traveling alone and popping into his companions’ lives every once in a while. Mr. Pink seems great, but it’s creepy that Clara met him as a child. Also, don’t fucking lie to a potential love interest. We’ve already been to the end of the universe. Oh his name is Orson? I thought he said “awesome.” That was bad. We go through that whole episode and nothing… nothing.

Doctor Who Story 244 – Robot of Sherwood

I do enjoy that Peter Capaldi is really annoyed at Clara for wanting to meet Robin Hood. See, Capaldi is great. “Do people punch you in the face when you say that?” The Doctor doing Venetian Judo is a nice throwback to a Doctor whose costume is very Pertwee. The pouring of molten metal is very poorly done CG. The Doctor cheating at archery is great. It’s better when Worf smashes Geordi’s lute.

Doctor Who Story 243 – Into the Dalek

Oh it’s Zawe Ashton from Fresh Meat. Capaldi is a good authoritative Doctor. Mr. Pink is hot. Clara should totally get some! I forgot about the whole “am I a good man” theme during the entirety of Capaldi’s era. It’s really obvious that the Doctor is not a good man. I wish I was watching Innerspace instead. Now I just want more Martin Short. How does Dennis Quaid get top billing?